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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Gas Pump

The Science, The Tricks, & The Laughs Behind The Numbers

Minimum car mileage standards are something we've all seen plastered on window stickers at dealerships—those numbers that claim how many miles per gallon (mpg) your next car will supposedly get. But behind these seemingly simple numbers is a history filled with oil crises, scientific ingenuity, creative testing hacks, and a few funny mishaps along the way. 

Why Minimum Mileage Standards Exist

The concept of minimum car mileage was first established back in the 1970s, during the 1973 oil crisis. For further reading on the oil crisis and its impact on fuel economy standards, you can refer to sources like the U.S. Department of Energy's history of the oil crisis or the Environmental Protection Agency's CAFE standards overview (https://www.epa.gov/fueleconomy). Faced with skyrocketing oil prices and dwindling supplies, leaders in the United States realized they needed to take action to reduce fuel consumption. This led to the creation of the Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standards in 1975.  (https://www.nhtsa.gov/laws-regulations/corporate-average-fuel-economy). The goal? To ensure that cars rolling off the production line were more efficient, saving both money for consumers and fuel for the nation.

These standards have evolved over time, and today, every car manufacturer must meet certain minimum mpg standards averaged across their entire fleet. This regulatory push set the stage for increasingly creative and, sometimes, downright funny approaches to mileage testing.

Mileage Testing: From Lab Tests to the Highway

When calculating car mileage, manufacturers put their vehicles through a series of tests that aim to represent real-world conditions. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) outlines the procedures and protocols for these tests, which are available at (https://www.fueleconomy.gov/feg/how_tested.shtml). The main methods include the use of dynamometers (essentially treadmills for cars) and specific driving cycles like the Urban Dynamometer Driving Schedule (UDDS) for city driving and the Highway Fuel Economy Test (HWFET) for open roads.

 

But here’s where it gets interesting: these lab numbers don’t always match up with what drivers see on the road. In fact, lab results are often adjusted downwards by 10-20% to account for variables like traffic, road conditions, or even unpredictable events—like the occasional laboratory hamster making its home under the hood (yes, that supposedly really happened!).

Quirky Mileage Testing Anecdotes

1. The Tape Trick

Back in the day, some manufacturers used tape to cover body seams during testing to reduce drag and boost aerodynamics. While this worked well for the test results, it wasn’t exactly practical for a car that needed to withstand normal driving—unless, of course, you wanted to drive around with duct tape all over your car. Unsurprisingly, this little trick was soon banned.

2. "Feather Foot" Drivers

Mileage testers have long employed so-called "feather foot" drivers—test drivers known for barely touching the gas pedal in an attempt to get the absolute best fuel efficiency numbers. These drivers are known for accelerating so slowly that, if they were on a real road, they'd probably get honked at… a lot. This approach, while effective in testing, is laughably unrealistic for everyday drivers who have places to be and aren’t competing in a "slowest acceleration contest."

3. Weight Loss Tricks

In a bid to get the highest mileage numbers, some manufacturers would strip test cars of everything non-essential. Spare tire? Gone. Stereo system? Nope. Air conditioning compressor belt? Definitely removed—just to ensure the AC didn’t accidentally kick on. These weight-reduced vehicles were basically hollowed-out shells, leaving testers to joke, "Sure, this car gets 40 mpg… if you’re okay with zero comforts."

4. Rolling Downhill for Science

It’s said that early mileage tests could’ve just as easily been called "rolling downhill competitions". Some test drivers would joke that, with the right downhill slope, you could claim amazing mileage numbers. The absurdity of using "perfect hill" conditions became an ongoing joke in the testing community, and although today’s tests are much stricter, the idea of finding those mileage-boosting hacks hasn’t quite gone away.

6. The "Average Driver" Myth

Mileage tests are designed to represent an "average driver". But here’s the thing: that driver—the one who never accelerates too hard, never brakes too suddenly, and never drives too fast—is a mythical being. Testers joke that if this person existed in real life, they’d probably be the least fun driver on any road trip, and yet, their mild-mannered ways are what determine the mileage figures printed on new cars.

7. Pizza Run Gone Wrong

There’s a classic story of a tester wanting to prove a car’s real-world mileage by timing a pizza delivery run. The plan backfired. The pizza was late, the mileage was terrible, and the driver realized that real-world driving—with its stops, starts, and sudden lane changes—is nothing like the perfectly controlled environment of a lab. It was a reminder that the lab is neat and tidy, but the real world is chaos.

How Mileage Gets Reported Today

When you see those mileage numbers on a car, they’re based on a mix of city (55%) and highway (45%) driving. The EPA sets strict guidelines that all manufacturers must follow, so every vehicle is tested under the same conditions. Of course, actual driving—like dealing with traffic, weather, and personal driving habits—can make a difference,

 Updates to EPA Testing (2008 and Beyond)

In 2008, the EPA realized that their old testing methods didn’t always reflect modern driving. To fix that, they updated the rules that every automaker has to follow, making the tests more realistic. Now, they take into account a lot more real-world factors, such as:

  • Higher Speeds and Aggressive Driving: The tests now simulate faster speeds and quicker acceleration, reflecting how most of us actually drive on highways and in traffic.

  • Cold Weather: Cold temperatures can impact fuel efficiency, especially in gas-powered cars. The updated tests consider this, giving you more accurate numbers for winter driving.

  • Air Conditioning Usage: Running the A/C can increase fuel consumption, and now that’s included in the EPA’s tests, so the numbers reflect what happens on a hot summer day.

  • Shorter Trips and Idle Time: Stop-and-go traffic and quick errands are part of the new testing protocol, which better reflects typical city driving.

 Thanks to these updates—and the fact that all manufacturers have to use the same guidelines—the fuel economy ratings on new cars are more accurate than ever. While real-world results might vary a bit depending on how and where you drive, these numbers give you a much better idea of what to expect

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